


Kissing in Cars | Pierce The Veil

by Mayanottaken



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Based on a song, Bottom Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Break Up, Dream is the supportive best friend lol, Fluff and Angst, Flustered GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Georgenap, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Karl and Quackity - Freeform, Kissing in cars, M/M, Make Up, No Smut, Sapnap and George, Sapnotfound - Freeform, Soft Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Top GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Touch-Starved GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur is a coworker, scared of commitment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:07:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29699619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayanottaken/pseuds/Mayanottaken
Summary: Red lights flash in the car we’re kissing in.A Sapnotfound story from beginning to end.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & GeorgeNotFound & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	Kissing in Cars | Pierce The Veil

**Author's Note:**

> guess for the sake of the story, George isn't 24, he's 21, dream is 20, and Sapnap is 19   
> third pov.

"He broke up with me Dream." Sapnap's voice quivers as he lets the words spill out of his mic.

It took his friend by surprise since before hand he was talking about something funny that happened in the morning. It's not like Sapnap wasn't paying attention but he couldn't focus on anything else other than the disappointing fact that his recent boyfriend, George, broke up with him over text, five minutes before Dream began telling his story.

What was he supposed to do? Wait until Dream finishes? He's trying to process everything, trying to figure out how to respond to the message. He, himself hasn't even read the whole message only the small glimpse of whatever the notification allows him to see. The words were clear as day though, the white letters that read : _I'm breaking up with you an.._

Was he supposed to just open the message up quickly and respond as fast as light like he usually would've done? Was he supposed to let the message sink in or was he meant to brush it off? It's only been a month worth of dating but the amount of time they spent flirting and acting like more than friends when really both were just in blind denial of their feelings, was way greater, years even.

"What?" The blondes voice sound so far away through his headphones. His head felt like it was spinning around trying to focus on Dream's gentle voice but he just couldn't. Fogged up eyes and a fogged up mind is how the poor raven is left as he can't help but sob into his hands. It was a soft silence, hearing his bestfriend cry so harshly yet so quietly. He didn't know exactly how to comfort him over a discord call. The same discord call they were in when he told him, that him and George were finally dating.

He was so happy for his best friends, so glad that they were both together and thriving. It seemed like it was just yesterday he heard the excitement in Sapnap's voice and now he sounds so broken, it was pathetic the way he couldn't bring himself to say that everything would be okay. Or maybe it was just the truth because perhaps, for once, it wouldn't be okay.

————

Waking up the next day was a struggle. Sapnap didn't even want to think about getting up, and having to go to his online classes.

It was a Tuesday. A bright sunny Tuesday.

The type of days that are so lit up and colorful you just want to be outside, running through green grass, the wind flowing through your hair, letting the warmth of the sun rays shine over your skin, notice just how fast the clouds move across the bluest sky. You swear you've never seen this bright of a blue in your life before but you've sworn that about a thousand times already. It was that type of Tuesday.

Except that for Sapnap, it was cloudy, misty, gray, and cold. The blinds in his room stopped any golden morning sun from passing in just barely. He only had one window in his room anyways. He had blankets on top of blankets over his small body as all he could think about is the pressure being pushed down on him. His hair lazily falling over his forehead, his eyes burning internally with each sudden blink or movement. His lips were dry and his throat even dryer but he didn't want water, he didn't want the sunlight, he didn't want that perfect Tuesday walk to Dream's house, he didn't want to wake up and face reality, he didn't want to open the message from last night.

He only wanted his lover back.

Wanted those sweet summer gazes, those late night calls, the small kisses George would randomly give him whenever he felt like it, the meals they shared, all the stupid screen sharing they did, the way Sapnap would act like the one who wore the pants in the relationship in public but behind closed doors it was a whole different story. Every small detail in a relationship is what he wanted. He's gotta face reality soon, gotta open the message, has to read it, has to go through the same crying process as last night.

Part of him felt guilty for breaking down on Dream, and the other part of him was glad that it was Dream who he broke down in-front of, or well in a call with. His bestfriend, his brother, it was comforting to know that it was him who heard him be at his weakest. Turning his head to the side to spot his phone.

Reaching over with shaky hands to grab it, placing it up to his face to unlock the piece of advance technology. Swiping up to unlock, the bright light hurts over his face, fingers rushing to bring down the brightness only to realize it's already at it's lowest. He huffs out in annoyance as he goes to click on the purple-blueish icon with the little robot face that looks like a video game controller. He's in his last dms with Dream, swiping to the right to pull up the rest of his messages to find George.

He didn't even have the audacity to text Nick through his regular phone number, no. He did it on discord, a fucking app you use to have fun with friends, not break ups. Sapnap takes a deep breath, hesitant of opening the message but he does it, clicking it softly enough to where his finger makes a tapping noise that somehow fills up the whole room.

_**George**_ — _yesterday_

_I'm breaking up with you and I'm so sorry._ _You're an amazing boyfriend and an even more amazing hell of a person. I still love you a lot, I just i've been thinking for a while it just feels like you deserve better, We're so young, and i'm your first ever boyfriend - I just don't want you to feel so unexperienced, I want you to have fun even without me, I know i'm not an affectionate type of guy - besides getting intimate, and I don't want to build the idea that no affection is good in a relationship. You're never too much, i'm just too little. I hope we can still be friends, and maybe somewhere along in the future maybe in a different universe we stay together but for now, i have to go my own way. And i know, i'm a complete asshole for saying this all through text, I just don't have the guts to see you crumble._

He reread the message over and over again, each time managing to find something new to question. The words seemed so simple to understand the massage was clear, he's too naive for somebody like George. Yet it seemed like there was a deeper meaning to it.

That's why he reread it. He was hoping to read between the white lies and try and figure out if maybe somewhere in that paragraph it said that they weren't broken up, that it's just a bit, a joke, a prank. That it wasn't real. It was typed in such a cliche way, Sapnap didn't even want to believe that it's just like in the movies.

Maybe the three little dots would appear to let him know that he didn't mean it and that it's a new day and that they should hang out later. Go out for sushi, maybe invite Dream, or maybe settle down at the local library and help Sap study for his finals. He wishes for anything other than the stupid embarrassment he feels for ever falling for a guy like George. A guy so perfectly flawed that it's almost incredible just how easily anybody can love him.

The light of the phone illuminating somewhat of his face is turned off with the hit of a button, he lets the phone slip out of his hands onto the blankets as he stares at the white celling.

As a kid he always had those little glow in dark stars that you would stick up in the celling and you couldn't wait for night to fall so you could crawl into bed, and watch the fairly greenish stars and planets glow. It was a little anticlimactic having to wait all day to only see them glow a bit, but it was so worth the excitement.

Now he's an adult, a student who goes to college, and has a small apartment he pays off working at a small music shop in town. The only excitement now is crawling into bed to just fall asleep. Not to stare at your plain white celling, that seems to sink in the more you stare at it.

Tears flow down the sides of his face, somehow making their way to his ears as he faces up. The silent small sniffles, he could feel his eyes shrink up with how much they burned, everything in him felt so weak. If he were quiet enough he swears he can hear his own heart break at the thought of George.

————

"Sap, cmon, it'll be fun, the boardwalk has an arcade we can play at, eat pizza and ice cream like the old days when we were like what? 15?" Dream's voice lights up his own bedroom which doesn't need any more positivity than it already has. The bright white walls, with movie posters and pictures of friends, family, pets, hung up all over the place. His room was never dull. It could never be, not while he was there. Unlike Sapnap's room which is just dark and messy.

He sat on his office chair by his desk as he narrowed his eyes at Sapnap who laid comfortably on his bed, eyes closed.

Dream's yet to speak to George ever since the whole incident. It's only been three days since it happened and he's tried to reach out, but he gets ignored, left on read, on delivered. He has no other choice but to hang with only Sap, and at least try to cheer him up, he'll have to visit the brit some other day.

"No." Sapnap mumbles maybe a bit too coldly as Dream rolls his eyes and stands up.

"Sap. You can't just mop around like life is over. It's not, okay? Look, I get you're going through a break up, it's hard, trust me, I know. But you can't let your days go to waste." His voice is stern and soft as he leans all his weight on one foot.

"Ugh." Is all sapnap says before sitting up and rubbing his face with both his hands. He ruffles his hair a bit before turning to glare at the blonde guy.

"You. are. paying." He says word for word as he stands up and goes into the bathroom. Dream grins agreeing happily as he himself goes to place his worm out shoes on. Making sure to double tie his laces.

The boardwalk was fairly crowded, it was the afternoon so that explains it, the ocean smell of fresh salt water surround your lungs and makes you feel at home.

Sapnap and Dream walk on the wooden floors,looking for the arcade. Seagulls fly by every now and then, causing you to look up into the clear sky. Not a single cloud to be seen.

Sap doesn't get the weather though. The past days have been so beautiful and warm yet he feels the complete opposite. All he wishes for is that it rains but he always wakes up to the sun beaming golden streaks into his small room.

"See? Isn't it great out here? We got the beach to our right and all those fun shops and places to our left!" Dream's hand points in all different directions and Sapnap's eyes follow it looking around, only shrugging with a low 'I guess'. His friend sighs and his hand falls back down to his side.

"Let's just go to the arcade okay?" He tries grabbing his attention again as the raven stared off into the distance, looking at all the people. It takes him a second to respond to dream with a simple nod and a weak smile.

_Progress right?_ The blonde male thinks to himself as they walk to the retro video game arcade.

The floor was that classic black carpet with a bunch of neon shapes and splatters sprinkled all over it, it's enough to strain your eyes and make you feel like you're in a different place. It's darker inside, having a few celling lights but most of the brightness came from the different games there was to play.

Air hockey was the one that caught Sapnap's attention. Him and Dream would always play on it after school with whatever allowance money they had leftover from the week. And whenever they would argue, they would settle it with a match of the classic game.

"I kicked your ass last time we ever played years ago." He says eyeing the game as some other fellas played on it.

Dream's grin widened rolling his eyes playfully, "The fact that you even remember says a lot."

They wait their turn and play a match, going full on competitive mode. Their reflexes were weak to start off with but soon they got the hang of it and only took it more seriously on who won and who lost.

For a few minutes Sapnap felt normal again. Laughing and smiling but with the wrong person. Not that he didn't appreciate Dream being here but if we were being honest, all he could think about was George. No matter how many times Dream tried distracting him, his mind always wandered back to that same person. Back to square one.

It feels so cold, so empty.

————

Another shift at the music store never goes by unnoticed. How could it anyway? He works on Saturdays and other weekdays. Sapnap didn't want to go to work today and stand behind a counter for hours just helping people check out. But after missing the whole week of work, he had no choice.

The store wasn't bad looking at all though nor was it small. It's walls were matte black with windows only on the wall with the glass door. There was all kinds of Vinyl records hung up along with posters of different artists from Mac Miller, Nirvana, Queen, Selena, The Weeknd, Bad Bunny, all the way to BTS, any genre of music, they had it.

Dim orange, yellow-ish fairy lights hung from corner to corner giving the place some sort of light but not to the point where it overwhelms you. It really was relaxing but for once Sapnap found it more than just comforting he found it almost fitting to how he felt today.

He could wear whatever he wanted to work, the manager didn't think a dress code was needed as long as he wore his badge with his name **Nick :)** printed on it. So that day he didn't go all out to look somewhat good, he settled on some plain black jeans, and a black thrasher hoodie. His hair was messy like always but he didn't wear his head band today, just wasn't feeling it.

His fingers tapped softly against the black granite counter next to the cash register. His eyes focused on the dark wooden floor, nobody else worked today so he was the only employee there, from 9am to 5pm, that's when his co-worker, Wilbur, came in and took the next shift.

Sometimes the store would be busy, full of teens and adults searching for the newest albums, or looking to get into playing guitar since it's trendy. But the mornings were always slow with little to no people coming in.

It wasn't quiet though. There was a music playlist of a bunch of random songs all shuffled in the background. It would usually be hard to hear with how many people would be talking at once in the store but since it's empty, the music was heard loud and clearly.

A song came on, a song Sapnap had never heard before. He had good taste in music, always switching it up between rap and chill rock. This song though intrigued him.

He didn't pay much attention at first until the Chorus came on,

_No! At the top of our lungs. There's no, no such thing as to young. When second chances won't leave you alone, Then there's faith in love._

Something about it sounded familiar as if he's heard it before. His head lifted up a bit from the slouching position he was in and he continued to focus on the lyrics.

_She was always the one, I'll repeat it again, the one, No such thing as too young!_

The moment those lyrics ran through his ears he thought of the one person who seemed to have disappeared from his life in a matter of seconds. The song only continued to played as he spiraled down into a trance. So many memories flashed before his eyes at once.

It all came flooding back, not a single detail he didn't recall within the song. His heart ached inside his chest, it felt all so real, he could almost see George standing in front of him. In fact, it seemed way too realistic, he could focus on each small feature.

Noticing every small freckle on one side of his face, seeing his dark brown eyes that if you stared at for too long you might just never look away, his rosy cheeks, it all looked to close.

"Sapnap?"

Because it was real.

In an instant he snapped out of whatever he was in, focusing on the man in front of him. The song had already been moved on from, now a pop song played. George scanned his face, noticing the bags under his red eyes, his chapped lips as if he has been picking at them, his hair was all messy and if he was being honest it looked even softer than he remembers. He almost lifted his hand to caress his cheek, wipe the streaks of tears away, tell him that everything is okay and that there's no need for him to be so broken, that he's sorry for what he did.

"What-What are you doing..here?" It hurt George having to hear the fear in his voice, the way he furrowed his eyebrows at him, it only made him feel like more of a shitty guy. He deserved it though.

"I just..wanted to stop by..." George manages to get the words out of his throat that feels more and more swollen.

Their eyes meet for brief moments, moments were it seems like they're strangers meeting for the first time. "Well, you stopped by, you can go now." He didn't expect Sapnap to respond with such fierceness, confidence, such emotion. He only glared at him before turning around to fix some boxes. It was like he lost his voice, he couldn't move, couldn't get the words out. So he just stayed there, staring at the youngers back, trying to figure out what to do next. He turned back around and once again eye contact was made.

"Listen if you're not buying anything then you can leave, i'm working so I can't just be chit chatting with _people_." The way Sapnap referred to him as people through his teeth really tugged at his heart, realizing that he fucked up so bad, Sapnap doesn't even recognize him as anything anymore, just another acquaintance.

"Nick, I just want to talk, I thought we could still be friends..." He placed his clammy hands on the counter as the other male backed up a bit. He called him by his first name, he never called him that unless it was serious or it slipped out occasionally. Dream said Nick more than George did, so it always took Sapnap by surprise. But that still didn't justify what George said, Friends? He wanted to be friends after everything, wants to go back to the beginning.

"Friends? _Friends?_ No! I don't want to be friends George, I wanted to be with you. I just don't get it, everything was so good, and then all of sudden, 'we're too young?', and- and not only that, you pulled the biggest dick move by doing it over text?! And you want to be FRIENDS? What happened to our future together, when did it become our past George? When?" His voice trembled, it was laced with more than just regret and pain, it lingered of hate. George's mind went blank, questioning everything that was just said. He watched as the other teared up again, sniffing, flushing a deep red.

"I-I'm sorry." Was all he could whisper out, closing his eyes and gripping onto the counter till his knuckles turned white. "I really am." He breathes out again before walking out of the store, letting the small bell ring, indicating he was gone. The raven was left there standing alone again. He held onto his chest, taking in deep breaths, trying to gather himself up. The only thing he could hear in his head was that song that played earlier. Oh how perfectly it described the way he felt.

————

"Dream, he hates me." George buried his face into his own hands. He was at a coffee shop with Dream, it's been a day since he last saw Sapnap. He couldn't keep on ignoring Dream, the lecture that his friend would give him was unavoidable, it was gonna happen one way or another so he decided that today, Sunday, would be the day.

"He doesn't hate you." Was all the blonde male said. His voice was reassuring, it was the perfect combination of seriousness and pity. He removed his hands and looked at his friend who only gave him that look of disappointment.

"George, what were your thinking?" Dream says wrapping his hands around the cup of coffee he got. They were at a local Starbucks, a clean one, almost upper class. The older only shrugged looking defeated.

"I-I don't know, I just I'm such a bad lover Dream, like whenever Sap would be so affectionate and loving, sometimes i would feel overwhelmed...and I'd push him away, make him think he was too much, I could see the hurt in his eyes Dream. Yet whenever it came to bedroom stuff, I was always the one to take control. It felt wrong. I would hurt him everyday, I didn't want to keep on doing that so I just I figured if I said 'we're just too young' that maybe I don't know...it would be a better reason to break up." His eyes would tear up but he would blink the feeling away, letting it settle in his stomach where it seemed as if all those butterflies he once got were dead now.

"Bullshit George. Bull. Shit. You could've talked to him, told him how you felt! He would've backed off, listened to you, he would've gone to the end of the world if it meant you felt more comfortable and we both know that. So stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself." He looked into the brown eyes, letting his green glare affect him, he knew he was right and he knew George always tried to bottle up everything. George placed his hands on his lap and sighed heavily, multiple times before mentally agreeing with Dream.

"Why did you break up with him?"

The question lingered in the thick air that smelled of coffee and frosting. The sun coming in through the big glass windows as people walked by. It was a question willing to be answered but not truthfully. What did he know anyways? He's supposed to know himself better than anyone yet it's almost like even Dream knows him better than himself, it's like everyone can read him except him.

"The future just felt too far away." His voice breaks after saying it, letting his head fall low, and the salty tears slide down his clear skin.

"George..what happened?" Dream whispers out only loud enough for the broken brit to hear him, not hoping for a response but instead a reaction. That's all Dream was looking for, a sign as to why his friend has been so distant. All he gets though is a short shrug, one of those shrugs you'd do whenever you don't care about the outcome of your actions. It's almost an **_I don't give a fuck_** gesture but it could easily be mistaken for an _**I honestly care too much to know what's right**_ gesture. It's a real brain teaser trying to read George by his body language, Sapnap could do it easily though. That's one thing Dream noticed, the way Sap could just glance at George and know exactly what was up, it was exactly what made them perfect for each other. But I guess the constant reassurance he gave was too constant for George or maybe it wasn't enough, Dream still has yet to figure that out. Then again he doesn't want to figure it out, he's got his own problems to worry about, his own relationships, he knows he can't play therapist for them all the time. At times he debates on wether even giving them the attention they both crave so much because neither of them can bring themselves to just give it to each other instead.

He sighs closing his emerald eyes for a brief moment, "Listen, I'm still your best friend, even if things between sap are a bit rough, I'll still be here for you, but you can't just solve all your problems by pushing away the ones you love—." He stands up, pushing his chair back before grabbing the warm cup in his hands. The older who still sits down, meets his burning gaze, and takes a deep breath.

"But maybe this change is good, after all you never know how much you love someone until they're gone." Dream finishes his sentence by squeezing George's shoulder before saying goodbye and heading off. He's got work to go do. But now George is left there, alone again.

The same way he left Sapnap alone yesterday.

Dream is right though, he's always fucking right and it pisses him off. He hates how well he knows Sapnap, how close they are, how perfect Dream is as their best friend. He would've never hurt Nick the way George did and that's what bothers him. The fact that he broke his heart in seconds and it only took that same amount of time for Dream to swoop in and try and piece it back together. He knows Dream doesn't like Sapnap in a romantic way though, he knows because they've had that conversation before, spoken that language of envy before. And still, George can't help but just wish he was more like Dream.

————

Monday came around and the routine began all over again for Sapnap. He'd wake up, and go to work first, spend most of the day at the shop before whining up back home to do school for a while and then settle into his bed and drown in his own thoughts until he feels like he can't breathe anymore.

"Hello! Welcome to Record Notes! Im Nick, Anything I can help with you today?" His voice is full of cheerfulness like he's not going through the worst stage of his life. The smile he puts on is so fake he doesn't even recognize himself doing it.

The two young men in front of him appear to be around his name age, they both have different styles. One of them is maybe a good two inches taller than himself, and the other one is maybe an inch shorter at most. The taller one wears a baggie Yankees baseball Jersey, with a plain black turtleneck beneath it, some jeans and some regular converse. Meanwhile the other wears a button up Hawaiian shirt with black pants but his shoe game is pretty strong, wearing some type of Jordan's. He also wore a LAFD beanie which is something Sapnap's never seen before. The more he analysis the guys the more he notices just how pretty they are.

"We were looking for guitars, wondering what you guys have?" The beanie guy says, giving him a cheeky smile and the taller male nods in agreement. Sapnap almost goes speechless but shakes it off, and remembers to see them as customers.

"Awesome! We have various guitars, electric, classic, acoustic, bass, even ukuleles. What do you have in mind?" I say leading them to instruments that hung on the wall. The soft music in the background matched the relaxed mood, there weren't many people in the store and Wilbur worked the same shift too so he didn't have to worry about the register all the time like usual.

"Well Alex is looking for an acoustic one but we'd be willing to try out different ones, which do you recommend...uh, _Nick_?" The way customers always said his name made Sapnap go into deep thought, almost forgetting that it is his real name. But at las he looks at both the male and asks for their names in return getting a confident "Alex", the short one is named Alex. He'll remember that, he just has that gut feeling that he will.

"I don't play guitar but my buddy Wilbur knows about them, I can call him over for you guys!" He says grinning as the two boys turn to look at each other and smile, giving into the suggestion. It was only a matter of seconds before Sapnap and Wilbur traded places. He watched as Wilbur spoke to them, pointing at the instruments, watching as they laughed and made small talk from across the store. Their voices were very faint but just loud enough for him to understand some of it. He must've been so distracted he didn't even notice one of the boys walking over to him, but when he did, he straightened up, preparing to replace his neutral frown with a warm smile.

"Hey, everything good?" He says and the taller guy laughs nodding his head. His smile is contagious, but confusing. So confusing because what is he thinking? He doesn't even know the guy and is already questioning his actions, is he that alone?

"Yeah, just got bored of them talking about strings and stuff, figured I'd wait here for him." He says leaning against the counter staring at Alex and Wilbur. Sapnap moves his gaze to him though, eyeing him up and down a few times just to try and read him.

"That's uh, cool.." He managed to say a bit late but that didn't seem to bother the well dressed man. "My name is Karl by the way." He says only glancing at Sapnap. Karl. He's also gonna remember that. _**Karl and Alex.**_

"Alex is your friend right?" Sapnap asks next unsure if its the right thing to do. Every time he tries and think of them as something else, it's like his thoughts consume him and somehow it all goes back to George. He hates how everything reminds him of George. The whole playing guitar thing, the way their smiles seem to light up the room is the same way George's would've done.

"Yup." Karl responded with a small pop sound whenever pronouncing the p. They stood there in a comfortable silence. Even with all the background sounds, to Sapnap it was almost quiet.

"You busy later? I know it sounds pretty forward but uh, me and Alex are going to a local sports bar later to just chill, you could join us if you want.." Karl didn't hesitate to get the question out there. He looked at Nick from the corner of his eyes as he still leaned onto the counter, back pressed into it. Sapnap didn't know how to process the question. If he was being honest he almost didn't catch what Karl said, to busy thinking of people who probably aren't thinking of him.

Sapnap fixes his position a bit, glancing over at Wilbur and Alex before piercing his eyes into Karl's neck. It takes a lot out of him to get the words out but they do, "I would, yeah, that sounds refreshing but you mind me asking..why?" This time he sounded more confident than before, gaining trust.

The taller male only shrugs, "Something about you." Is all he says before Alex and Wil join in, guitar in hands. Sap had no other choice but to go back to being just an employee, shaking off what Karl said, not completely but temporarily. He knew he'd have a thinking session about it later on.

"Your total will be 83 dollars and 58 cents!" He said smiling at Alex, he smiles back quickly before pulling his credit card out of his brown wallet. Sap took it, fingers grazing yet it wasn't like the movies when you feel sparks flow through you fingers at the bare contact. It was almost strange the feeling it gave Nick, it was like a sense of guilt, for even thinking about feeling anything.

He shakes yet another thing off focusing on making the payment as quickly as he can, he hands them their receipt and a free guitar pick. "Before we go, your number?" Karl speaks up again after just watching. Sapnap had basically forgotten that he'd ask for it, he spends so much time hanging out with only Dream he almost forgot what it was like making other friends.

"Right, my number..." It comes out as a whisper, not that he meant for it to sound so weak it just was his nature. He wrote it down on a sticky note, handing it to them. They promised to call him later, and to be ready by 8pm. He agreed, not thinking twice about it and waved them goodbye.

Hearing the bell ring as they disappear around the corner. He sighs, rubbing his eyes a little too hard. "Thought you were with George?" Wilbur startled him with the sudden question. Turning his head to face the clearly taller brit. It wasn't easy getting the words 'We broke up.' or 'I'm single now.' out. Especially when you never wanted any of it to happen. Sap and Wilbur stare at each other, one of them waiting for an answer and the other was hoping to just go home.

————

"So tell us about yourself, Nick." Alex asks taking a sip from the colorful drink he had. Neither of them ordered alcoholic beverages which made Sapnap feel a bit more in place. Even with the comfort that they brought to him he didn't have much to say about him.

"Ah, nothing really, just..I'm a student, 19, from Texas, and uh - yeah that's about it.." He says shaking his head a bit in embarrassment. That doesn't stop the two boys from continuing the conversation, making it last longer than it should've. All three of them know exactly that it didn't need to be dragged out but they also knew that they didn't care. All they were looking for was a good time. And that's what they got. The whole night was chill, laughter filling up their lungs every second with how many stupid jokes they made. It was like Sapnap knew them for longer than just a couple hours. He didn't think he would enjoy hanging at a sports bar so much.

They played pool, match after match, every now and then they'd switch and play darts or other fun little games the place had to offer. It wasn't like the arcade he went to the other day, but it felt awfully familiar. Maybe because he used to come to this sports bar with George, often Dream too. But it's all just an old memory left behind to decay in the back of his mind. That didn't stop him from daydreaming though. Some could call it a hallucination, seeing your old memories replay infront of you even though none of it is happening. It was all so realistic, he swore he saw George walk in and take a seat, not noticing him. In fact it wasn't until Alex shook his shoulder out of excitement after winning a pool game against karl that he came back down to Earth. "Lets go!! I won that Karl, you can't even try and deny it!" Alex smiled at both of his friends getting a big grin from Karl who was laughing at his mistakes and then a weak smile from Sapnap who couldn't manage to get any other words out.

George wasn't feeling his best that night. It was staring to get to him, all the guilt, all the insecurities kept on crawling back up to shrink up his heart. It was one of those nights where you'd stay up staring at your celling while hearing your inner voice convive you of how bad of a person you are. His stomach turned and flipped over the moment he stepped foot in the sports bar. He came here to distract himself. It was one of his favorite hang out spots, they had good food, good games, good drinks, it was in the higher class part of town so it wasn't just some old cheap place. It was a simple idea, just going in and trying not to think about his break up but the universe seems to be against him, his lucky stars never line up, because the one person he didn't want to see yet wanted to hold so badly was standing right there, looking straight at him. His eyes piercing into his own dark ones. He wasn't alone. Of course he wasn't alone is what George thought, he's a friendly guy, to shy to reject anybody unless he's comfortable with them. To scared of embarrassment.

Meeting eyes with his ex lover wasn't gonna just send George right back home. He can't go back home, he'll drive himself insane with his own thoughts. He looks away, pretends like he never saw him. Sapnap never looked away from the entrance, he only stared blankly at the door, as if he saw a ghost before his friend startled him with his victory.

The brit took a seat at a bar stool, debating on what he should order. He wasn't too hungry but eating some fries or just getting a lemonade — didn't sound so bad. It was only a matter of seconds before he ordered and was now was left there again to just think. All this alone time wasn't what he wanted but it's what he got. Being confused about your future, complicated things in the present only brings the past back up. Sapnap always showed affection, always made sure that he wasn't alone even if he wasn't there physically he somehow managed to make him miss him more. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the extra long kisses, or the hugs at night, or the stupid hand holding gestures as if they were grade school admirers. But he'd also be lying if he didn't admit sometimes, it felt like a lot. Nick wasn't clingy, he wasn't extra, he was just loving. Something George still hadn't figured out exactly how to do. He's had a few other relationships but they were all for different reasons, all didn't last. It wasn't somebody who he loved dearly it was just temporary and he knew that. Or that's what he thought, he's had past relationships where he was in Nick's position. He was the one who was getting hurt and maybe that's what left George so fucked up but he's yet to figure that out himself. But with Sapnap he knew it would never be temporary, he knew the second he fell for him that there was no going back, those feelings would never go away even if they don't ever talk to each other again. George would always tell Sap whenever he felt overwhelmed and his boyfriend would always listen, he'd back off, give him space, all the time he needed to himself. Now George has all the time to himself and he takes it all back - he misses not having alone time, he misses his lover.

"Here you go sir!" The waitress placed down the basket of crinkle cut fries along with a side of ketchup. She also settled the pink lemonade drink beside it, setting down a straw and napkins. She smiled asking if he needed anything else and he politely shook his head no, thanking her instead. The food didn't taste dull like he thought it would, it actually tasted pretty good. He's been eating nothing but just random junk food, this was not much of a change but it was enough to be content with the simple, small meal.

"So that's your ex?" Karl raised an eyebrow at Sapnap. They all sat back down at their table on the other side of the bar stools, away from George. Sap had to tell his friends what was going on especially when it was getting harder to focus on anything.

"Yeah.. sorry again for bringing it up, it's stupid, but I just—" He didn't even get to finished his choked up sentence before Karl interrupted him.

"No worries man, we get it, we could just go if you want! It's probably harder to focus on us since your ex is around. Maybe we can call it a night?" Alex agreed, as Karl took his drink and drank from the black straw. Sapnap appreciated his kind words, the way they cared enough to go, the way they understood how he felt. The way they smiled to reassure that he isn't alone anymore. He glanced over at George who now drank what seemed to be alcohol. It worried him a bit if he was being honest. George wasn't much of an alcoholic, he never really drank.

"Yeah calling it a night sounds good, thanks guys, I really hope we get to hang out again!" He said cleaning up the table area a bit as they do the same getting ready to leave. They offer him a ride but he rejects it making the excuse up of wanting to order some to go food. They don't question him any further and say their goodbyes, hugging Sapnap each before walking out the glass doors. He sighed turning to look over at George who's on his second whisky glass. He wasted no more time making his way over sitting down on the bar stool beside his.

"George..since when do you drink?" His voice is a bit shaky as being around him triggers so many feelings at once it's hard to know what to be. He glanced over at Sap and chuckles before looking away again. The glass of Whiskey he held on his hand was almost basically hanging as his fingertips as he only held the top edges of the glass, his wrist dangling a bit as his elbow was on the table.

"Since when did you go out to sports bars with people other than Dream." His response almost felt like an insult to Sapnap. He's taken a back by the comment and this time he's the one who chuckles out of annoyance.

"Since you left me."

The words didn't sound sincere and they didn't sound regretful either. They were almost full of pride. As if he was just using the situation to his advantage but part of Sap wasn't. Part of him was just trying to make George feel the way he felt. Trying to catch his attention because that's all he craved so badly. He wanted to be the only thing George focused on. Not the sports on the Tvs, not the other people having dinner, not the teens playing 8ball on the pool table. Not the chicks that would laugh and glance over our way every five minutes. He wanted him to be George's only view. The jealousy that was growing inside him was one he never felt before, not even when they were together. Maybe because now George is more vulnerable to be somebody else's. He has the option to leave with someone else tonight but Sapnap wants to be that someone else. He knows it's not right, he knows Dream would've told him to just go home and give each other space but the way George looked at him and smiled, lifting an eyebrow as he took a sip from the orange colored alcohol whenever he said what he said. That's what made him want to just forget everything and forgive him.

"I see, we're playing _that_ game." Is all George says placing the empty glass back down on the wooden counter. Instead eating some fries. Sapnap wasn't sure what to say this time. A game? The only game he wanted to play was the one we're they end up together.

He swallows down any witty remark and just lets a sigh escape his lips instead. "You're such an idiot, I'm not trying to play any type of games. Listen, if you don't wanna tell me what's wrong, then don't. But I still care for you and driving home intoxicated doesn't sit right with me." He places his hands on his lap as George's lips tug an even wider smile. He's not thinking straight, the way his eyes are so dark and cold, Sapnap knows he's capable of anything. It scares him a little but he can't help but like whenever he's this...dark.

"And what are you gonna do about it Sap. Nap." He extended the pop sound the p makes at the end of his name, separating the vowels. Nick presses his lips together before glaring at him, and deciding to just go. There's a difference between helping someone out and just wanting to get what you want. He just wanted George, he didn't care if he drank, George is responsible he knows his limits. Sapnap knew that this was the perfect opportunity to be his only, to spend the night together, to go back to his place and smell his cologne on everything, fall into a swirl of lust. But that's not what he needed.

"Whatever, be safe George." Sapnap says getting off the stool and walking off before he changes his own mind. George didn't hesitate either though. In a swift movement, he was infront of Sap, blocking him from going forward. His hand wrapped around Sapnap's arm tightly enough to keep him in place. The smell of alcohol reeked off his lips as they were close to each other, inches away from mistakes.

"I miss you okay? I admit it but.."

That was enough for Sapnap to just lean in, connect their lips like puzzle pieces. Ignore the bitter taste and try to just enjoy the blissful moment of them finally having made contact again. He doesn't though. It's not enough. That 'but' makes it everything but enough.

"but you don't want to get back together." Sapnap finishes George's sentence for him. He pulls his arm back fiercely, pushing George's chest away, and running over to the doors, pushing them open with force. He could feel all his words coming back up his throat like hot sour puke. His legs a bit wobbly as he walked in the first direction he thought of going into. Everything in that shared moment felt so right yet equally wrong. He doesn't miss him, is what Sapnap thought. It's all he could think about, he knew that tonight wouldn't just be an easy nights rest, he knew he'd have to cry himself to sleep because so many memories would come boiling back up to the surface — reminding him of just how alone he is.

George breaths out curses as he watches Sap walk through those stupid glass doors. He had his chance and one word ruined it all. But who's he to complain right? He was the one who broke up with him. He wanted to push him away on purpose right? He sighs, rubbing his hand over his face before settling his hands on his hips and just staring at the door. "Fuck this, it's not what I want."

In a brief moment he made his mind up. He could faintly see the body outline fade away into the city and he didn't want to just let him go again. He pulled out a 20 dollar bill and a few ones and threw it on the counter before running out after Sapnap. He pulled his pants a bit as he began running. All his thoughts were so hot, his face felt over heated and the sun isn't even out. His feet began to feel cloudy with each step. He could see the other walking away. Every now and then he'd run under a light post, the orange golden light brighting his vision for a couple seconds before disappearing behind him.

It was now or never. He's gotta stay the night.

————

"Give me a reason."

Nick's voice echoed not through George's apartment but through George's head. His voice is one he could fall asleep too but would love to wake up to as well. They sat on his couch, distance between them. His cat served as a barrier as it laid in the middle of them, basically staring to slowly close its eyes.

"There's so many.." George responds staring at his floor. It wasn't dark in his small but cozy living room. The balcony on the side lit up with a few street lights and his yellow warm lamp on the corner of the room gave the room a slow vibe too.

Nick sighed slouching into the couch even more as he stared at the cat who peacefully slept. "Just one reason? Damnit George is that too much to ask for? Why did you break up with me?" He noticed the brit inhaling deeply as his voice raised. George closed his eyes, scrunching his face a bit as he exhaled.

"Our ages, we've got so many things to do still." Was the first reason he gave, not expecting an immediate answer from Sap but he got it.

"There's no such thing as too young for us, I swear If we were both 14 and in love or 30 and in love, you know damn well I would love you the same regardless. So don't come at me with that shit reason. Give me a different one." Nick sat up, now glaring at George's side profile. The side of his which had more freckles is what he stared at it. He could see the thinking going on in his head. He just wished he could hear it too.

"I'm scared. I'm afraid. I'm fucking terrified of the future. I—I just, it's so much pressure." He broke upon saying those words immediately bringing his hands up to cover his face and he cried into them. Not hard enough to sob but light enough to feel the wetness on his palms. It was silent other than the soft sniffs. Sapnap hadn't moved, he was too busy focusing on what to say next he forgot to react.

"Pressure? Did I cause that?" After a few minutes of the tension just growing, he finally spoke up. He slowly moved the small kitten to the side, cradling it a little before placing them down back on the couch, scooting over to the spot where it sat before. They switched spots because it just, it felt right.

"I don't know, I don't think so." George was soft spoken sometimes but it wasn't a thing that happened often. Usually he wasn't too shy to say what he was feeling. If you're being annoying he'll let you know, if you're being funny, he'll reciprocate the feelings back. He's always more of a doer rather a teller but still, seeing him all down always made Nick think twice before speaking.

"I still love you Nick, I just...seeing you so excited for the future worries me because what if we never see that future, or what if—what if that future that you describe so dearly isn't even with me." The words hurt. They hurt both of them so much. It hurts to say them out loud, to have to see the look on Sapnap's face. And it hurts Sapnap to have to hear the words leave George's lips. The same lips that have made him feel every other emotion before.

He isn't allowed to dwell on his word though. Sap can't do anything because what George says isn't a statement that you should have an opinion on. It's his feelings and that's valid enough to understand. "Are you tired?" The question is a simple one. One that he asks the older male hoping to receive an even simpler answer.

"Stay the night, Sapnap. I'm not ever tired of having you over." And he didn't get a simpler answer, instead he got an offer he can't just reject because George is confused. He should go home actually, let him think of what he really wants. But the second chance he should give him just won't leave. He only sighs, leaning over, placing his head on George's shoulder. He'll stay the night. Only because it'll be the last, that's what Sap thinks to himself.

"I still love you too George."

—————

The birds chirping this morning seemed much more fairy like then the regular. The sun rays lit up the bedroom both Sapnap and George slept in. Recalling last night wasn't pleasant. They sat on the couch for hours before deciding that it was probably smarter to sleep in a bed. It's nothing they hadn't done before, the only difference is that, the romantic feelings between them just can't be expressed. Not now at least.

Sap opened his eyes slowly, a yawn following straight after. He looks over to his left, George being the first thing he sees. The way his eyelashes are tightly shut but look so long against his porcelain skin. The soft breaths he lets out from his faintly pink lips. The way his hair sticks out from the front, everything feels like the first time he knew he loved the boy. Sap sighs turning back on his back before looking at the black modern fan on the celling.His hands rubbed his face as he thought about what to do. His phone was left on the couch and he didn't want to wake George up by getting up. He also didn't want to stay for much longer — he's got places to be, and things to do.

The ravens eyes began to just search around the bedroom he thought he was familiar with but maybe he was wrong. How did he never notice the picture frames that were hung up. It was photographs of different memories, all in black and white. George's apartment building wasn't a cheap one, it was a very modern one, one where almost every apartment room was black and white themed.

The photographs were very heart warming. One of them was of Clay with his cat, patches. His smile was captured just at right time and the cat had never looked cuter than it did in that picture. Sapnap mentally awed focusing on the next one. It was a scenery pic, of the beach. The ocean looked beautiful, it made him want to be there. George wasn't one for going outside often so the fact that he even has a picture of it made him wonder how many others he must have.

The three photographs were all aligned, space left between the black painted walls. His eyes settled on the third photo. It was one of him. Would he ever take it down? Sap swallowed the thick saliva before remembering the memory that the picture held. It was an off guard picture. One that was taken without his knowledge. It didn't look bad, it was just him staring out a window. The place looked familiar, perhaps it was the coffee shop they always went to or maybe not. He couldn't remember right now. It felt like hours had passed as he stared at the picture, focusing on himself, trying so hard to remember when it was taken.

"You probably don't remember huh? I took it before we started dating. That's probably why."

The sudden raspy morning tone voice startled Nick making him jump a little as he turned his gaze to look at George who now stared at the photograph. The texan parted his mouth a little as he processed the words.

"Oh..that's...sweet." Sweet? Really? That's all he could think of saying. The first word that came to mind. He shook his head no before sitting up, running a hand through his hair.

"Hey about last night— I just want you to know that, it's not you who caused the pressure. Definitely not. I'm just not good at this relationship stuff. I want to give you everything but I'm so stuck in the past that I can't even promise you a future. And I'm really sorry for that." George sat up as he let his morning thoughts out. He faced Sapnap the whole time but the younger male only stayed looking at the photograph of himself. He could feel the tears that wanted to burst out of his eyes but he held them in.

"You'll always be the right one for me George, but if we're gonna go through this break up for the better or worse then let's do it correctly." Sapnap got closer to George, scooting over under the bed sheets as he turned to meet eyes with him. He took his hand into his. the warmth of his hands embracing the coldness of the brits hands.

"I'll give you space, and you give me mine. And we'll stay friends, not just for us but for Dream too. I feel horrible for pinning our problems on him. We—We'll figure this out, and if we're not meant to be then so be it, but just don't give up on me so quickly... _please_." George rubs small circles on Sap's hand out of instinct. They stare into each other, piercing into one another. Their foreheads meet, leaning on one another for support.

"Then so be it, I won't give up on you." George almost whispers out his response as their noses graze just barely enough to feel the sighs on skin. He wants to close the space between them so badly but that's not the right thing. As much as it feels like it. Instead they just stay like that, for longer than they should've but a little heart gazing doesn't hurt anyone.

Nick is the first one to part, standing up from the bed, "I have work today, so I should.." he stumbles over himself as he looks down for his shoes. He sits back down on the edge of the bed as he begins to place them on. George sighs.

"..Yeah you should..." George finishes the sentence that not even Sapnap himself noticed he didn't say fully. As soon as he's ready to go, he huffs out looking at George as his hand is on the door knob of the bedroom. The metal is cold compared to the warmth that came off George's body.

"Oh and George? I do remember that photograph. July 26th, 2019, Friday afternoon, at Niki's grand opening of her bakery. Dream couldn't make it so me and you went together. We should go again sometime. You know, as best friends..." He glances back at George, smiling softly before opening the door and closing it back again. The way his heart raced felt deadly. He grabbed his phone quickly leaving the apartment, closing the front door loud enough for George to hear.

"July 26th, 2019." George repeated the words as he laid back in bed, taking in the silence as the door closed letting him know he was alone. He smiled closing his eyes, recalling that day before starting to drift into a daydream that wouldn't last long but it worked for the time being. He already missed the youngers scent, his presence, his embrace. He's never been this clingy. Maybe Dream was right — _**"you never know how much you love someone until they're gone."**_

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued :] Kudos are appreciated aswell as comments !!
> 
> This story along with many others are also found on Wattpad under my user @/Mayanottaken !!


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